Just to see you smile
by Beth Is Here
Summary: Jasper just returned home from the military. His best friend Edward has found his soul mate. Can he find his? Alice has a traumatic past she can't quite let go of. Can Jasper help her beat it? Rated M: For Lemons, Language, and some tough topics
1. Chapter 1

**First Things First: **

**I have not written any short stories of any kind for about 2 years, so please bear with me, as I get all the rusty spots cleaned up. I don't own any of these characters, just the dirty mind that makes them ! You nervous??? Me too! *big stretch* Here goes! Hang on tight!**

"Yeah man, I'm supposed to be home sometime around three. … Sure, I swear Edward; I will meet her as soon as I get home! … Yes, I have already heard you say that man, I know! … Ok, see you in a few hours … Bye"

I'm happy for him. I really am. In fact, I've never been happier for my best friend of 15 years. Edward met someone. When I say met someone, I mean, THE SOMEONE. He talks about this chick Bella all the time. I feel like I have known her for months now, and I haven't even met her. She is a knockout from what I hear, smart as hell too. Edward talks about her so much; he repeats most of the stuff at least twice before I tell him I've already heard it. He bought her a damn diamond. He wants me to meet her before he gives it to her; like I'm going to be able to stop him if I don't like her or something.

"Attention Passengers, please prepare for landing. Welcome to Atlanta"

I take a deep breath, and stretch. My flight was long and I am ready to get the hell off the plane. Atlanta, just two more hours to drive and I would be home. Thank God. I hope I never have to fly again. My plane starts to make its descent, and the people around me begin to move about, gathering their things, ready to get off.

"Sir, can I take that?" asked the attendant, eyeing my glass.

"Sure, here ya go." I replied, looking at the glass. I looked up at her, and had to do a double-take. _Damn, she was beautiful. _My mouth dropped, _Say something you idiot!!!_ But I couldn't say a word. I was stunned. Her eyes were honey, with little flecks of gold. Her hair was so dark, it was almost black.

"Um, can you let go of it sir?" the angel asked, with a little frown. I looked down, and I was gripping the glass so hard, I thought it may break. _Idiot! Close your mouth dumbass!_ I released the glass, a bit too soon and it hit the floor before she could catch it. I groaned. She leaned down to pick it up at the same time I did, and we smacked heads. _Shit… you are a loser…_

"Oh, Oww." She gasped. She looked at me again, seemingly waiting for my apology. I sat there, dumbfounded. She snatched up the glass from the floor before I could say anything, or even close my mouth, and turned to walk back to her station. _What the hell is wrong with you??? Apologize!_ My brain was screaming at me to say something to her, but all I could do was watch her walk back. Jesus, she was as beautiful from the back as she was from the front. She had a little sway to her hips, which made it hard for me to think. She turned around, as if she knew I was watching her, and looked me right in the eye. Again, I looked like an idiot. I just stared at her… _What the hell is wrong with me???_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Well I hope you liked my first chapter. Seems Jasper isn't quite as calm and collected as we usually know him to be. I don't own Jasper, SMeyer does, but we can always pretend!**

"Damn it's good to be home!" I exclaimed when I walked into the door to the apartment.

"It's been lonely without you here man." Edward said, dropping my bags onto the couch.

Edward and I have been sharing an apartment for a couple of years. We bought it when Edward started college at Auburn University. He didn't want to stay in the dorms, and I didn't want to stay at his place if he wasn't there. I had been living with his family for years. I loved Esme and Carlisle like they were my own parents, but being there alone with them was just as awkward as the first day I moved in. They took me in after my mom's accident, and Carlisle has been the best father I could have ever asked for. Esme was sent straight from heaven, and she treated me like I was her blood.

"Did you hear me Jazz? " Edward asked, waving his hand in front of my face. "I told you we gotta meet them at seven. "

"Shit man, I'm sorry, I've just been out of it. Jet Lag and all…" I replied. "Who are we meeting again?"

"Jazz, are you up for this man, cause I can tell them you need a little bit of down time before you start meeting people." Edward asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

"I'm fine Edward. Now who are we meeting?" I said through a yawn. I really wasn't up for it, but I didn't want to screw up Edwards plans. I knew he was dying to introduce me to Bella. He couldn't wait to get my approval so he could give her the ring.

"Bella and her friend Alice. We are supposed to be meeting them at Niffer's Place. I hope you don't mind that she is bringing her, she just got home, and Bella didn't want to leave her at their apartment while we went out tonight." He explained.

"Alice huh? Have you seen her wonderland?" I kidded. Edward immediately smiled, and relaxed a little. I could tell he wasn't sure if I would have a good time tonight, but as soon as I started making jokes, he knew I was cool with going.

"God Jazz, do NOT say that shit to her, I don't think Bella is bringing her just so you could get laid…"

"So, you planning to give her that rock tonight?" I asked.

"Ugh… I don't think so man. Not in a bar… I can do better than that."

"Whatever dude, do what you gotta do. I'm gonna lay down till about 6. Wake me up will ya?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Ok, so I hope I have drawn you in. Please comment after each chapter. I want to hear what you think should happen next. SMeyer owns all the characters, but I own my fantasies! Enjoy!!!**

_gun shots _

"_MAN DOWN! GET SOMEBODY OVER HERE!" _

"_Hang on man, we got a medic comin!. Its gonna be ok."_

_silence_

"_Paul? Listen to me man, just hold tight a minute, someone is on the way!"_

_silence_

"_HELP ME!!!!! SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME!!!! MAN DOWN!!!"_

_silence_

"JAZZ! Wake up man, you're bleeding!" Edward exclaimed as he sat me up in my bed. "Are you ok?"

I looked down at my shirt, and saw what Edward was talking about. I had clawed through my shirt while I was sleeping, and the blood seeping from where I had broken through to my skin.

"Yeah man, its nothing… Just a paper cut." I joked, trying to brush off the concern Edward had on his face.

"Well get up and get ready to go, its six fifteen."

"All right man, I'm up." I replied.

Fucking nightmares… I have them all the time. They say its common, after seeing what I have seen. Hearing what I have heard. I try not to dwell on it, but hell, when you go to sleep and its just like being there again, it gets to me. I haven't really talked to Edward about it, he knows I have a sleeping problem now… That's for sure… Understatement of the year. I look down at my t shirt, the bleeding has stopped. Its no big deal, its just a couple of scratches… Gotta cut those fingernails again.

"Hey man, you bout ready to go?" asked Edward, knocking on the bathroom door.

"Yeah, give me a minute will ya?" I called back.

I take my shower, trying to wash away the images that my dreams brand into my head. I really don't know what to dress for, jeans and a t shirt will have to do. I slide on my boots, and open the door.

"You sure you're ok Jazz? You scared the shit out of me." Edward asked cautiously.

"Yeah man, I'm fine… Let's go. I'm ready to meet the girl of your dreams."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N What do you think so far??? I hope you all like what I have done with it thus far! Please leave feedback. I would love to hear from you. SMeyer owns it all. I just like to play Barbie's with the characters!**

"Ok man, they are supposed to be here any minute… "Edward said looking around the bar.

He was so nervous. I have never seen any girl mess with his head so badly. He really likes her. _Duh dumbass, he bought her that freaking rock, he more than likes her!_ Ok, so that was an understatement. I just sat back in my seat at the bar, and looked around. It was weird being back home. Auburn isn't a tiny town, but for one of our regular hangouts, I was sure I would have seen someone I knew. All these people here and no one I recognize. Hmm… the regular sorority girls were looking pretty tempting these days. At least that hasn't changed. I looked up to the ceiling. _Fucking fish…_ I asked one of the little waitresses one night what the paper fish thing was, and she told me that every new employee that had ever worked there had to decorate their own paper fish. They hang them from the ceiling. The whole damn place was covered. Looks like this place has seen lots of new faces.

"Damn it Jazz, wake up! I want you to meet Bella!" I snapped my head around, and caught on to the fact that Edward was pissed. He had been talking to me for a little while now, and I didn't even realize it. My mind tends to wander more and more frequently these days.

"Hey! Im Jasper! I have heard a ton about you!" I said looking at the pretty little brunette. Damn, she was pretty. Edward wasn't joking. She had some seriously deep brown eyes.

"Hi Jasper, I'm Bella! I hope he hasn't been telling you everything about me!" She blushed. Yep, I see what caught his ass. When she blushed her skin glowed. Her eyes sparkled. She was a catch. I had to admit. She won me over.

"And Alice went to the bathroom real quick, but she will be right back." Then she winked at Edward.

Hmm… I didn't like where this was going. She wouldn't wink at him unless they were planning to hook us up. I just got home, I wasn't ready for this. Not to mention that if my little freeze up on the plane was anything like how I am going to react to beautiful women around here, I would be branded a loser really fast. So I took a deep breath, and took a long pull from my beer, and started looking for our waitress… I needed more than one beer to get me through this tonight.

"Oh Shit." I groaned. Right before I spotted our waitress, I caught sight of black hair. I turned around to face the bar, hoping the little flight attendant didn't see me. How the hell did she get here? I saw her in Atlanta. That was two hours from here. _Damn it, please leave, please leave. Do not see me! Do NOT see me!_ I drank from my beer willing her away with my mind. God, I did not need to relive this afternoon… That girl probably thought I was retarded. Maybe she felt sorry for me. Hell, the look she gave me after I just sat there with my mouth open did not look like she felt sorry for me. It looked like she was trying not to laugh at me. I could feel sweat on my brow, and my hands were beginning to slide on my beer bottle. _Shit, Shit, Shit. Do something man, go to the bathroom, go outside, go HIDE. This is not how you need to be known around here. Jasper Whitlock: crazy ass silent guy. _ GET A FUCKING GRIP MAN!

"HEY ALICE!!! OVER HERE! I WANT YOU TO MEET EDWARD'S FRIEND JASPER!" Bella called out into the crowd. _There you go Bella, get some girl over here to stand In front of us, so she wont see me! SMART GIRL! I like you already!_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Ok, so this chapter is kinda long. its because I really want you to see the relationship that forms here. I hope you like it. Please review and let me know what you think!**

"Hey Jasper, I want you to meet my best friend Alice!" Bella said, trying to get me to turn around.

"Hey, this place is so crowded, I almost didn't see you over here Bella!" I cringed. Oh god, please no. I have heard that voice before. Today actually. I hung my head, and turned around. My chin dropped, and my fear was confirmed.

She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. She was an angel. Short dark black hair flipped out away from her face. Pixie… Definitely looked like one of those half naked little pixie women. _STOP! Don't think about anything naked, pay attention! Say something this time!_ My brain screamed at me to stay focused. She was shorter than I had imagined earlier today. I stood a full foot taller than her. She had on one of those sexy little black wrapping sweater dress things. It had a tie on her side at her hip. I almost groaned. I only thought she was sexy in the attendant uniform. I was wrong. She took a sip from Bella's glass before she turned to meet me, and then she did it, and I saw those eyes again. Jesus, those honey eyes were surely illegal somewhere. The little gold flecks in them sparkled in the light. As soon as our eyes met, her's widened. _Oh god, she remembers you!_ And then she spit beer all over my face.

"I'm so sorry! Oh my god! Are you ok?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine." Oh, God, not only did I look like an ass earlier today, but now I am covered in beer. What a way to start a conversation…

"Here, let me get you towel. I am so sorry…" She just kept apologizing like it was acid or something instead of beer. I took the towel she got from the waitress and wiped my face.

"So you, do talk? I was beginning to think you were mute." She smiled at me. God, that smile. It would surely be the death of me.

"Of course he talks!" Edward said, laughing. "What makes you think he doesn't?"

"Well, it seems we've already met once today, " she smirked. "Your buddy Jasper here smacked heads with me just a few hours ago. " she said, and then to me, "You know, I may have a bruise from that?" and she smiled again. _God how can a smile do so much? DUDE you are not talking to her, get with it!!!_

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that, you were just so beautiful, I couldn't say anything. "

Bella Gasped. Edward grinned. Alice blushed.

"Wow, with words like that, it's too bad you couldn't say anything earlier. "She replied.

"Bella and I are going to go sit at a table. You two gonna be ok over here alone?" Edward asked with a sly smile.

"Sure" we said at the same time. She smiled at our quick response, and again, it almost knocked me off my feet.

"So does your smile always make men speechless, or is it just me?" I asked taking a pull from my beer.

"Are you always so charming, or is it just me?" She asked back, taking my beer from my hand.

She took a long sip, and just watching her do it made me weak. I have never seen a girl with this much effect on me. Surely it was because I hadn't been in a woman's company in over a year. Military life can be pretty tough on a man's system.

"So Jasper, do you always have such a way with words, or am I just the lucky girl tonight?" She asked, handing my beer back to me. Her fingers brushed mine, and I couldn't help but smile when the warmth of her hand sent chills into me. _STOP MAN, You don't know this chick. You have been home like one day, get a grip!_ I hardened at the thought of what her hands could do if she actually touched me.

"I do ok. Women aren't falling at my feet or anything.." I replied. I asked for the waitress to bring another round of beers over.

"Oh sure. I've heard that before! So are you home to stay or you going back overseas?" She asked.

"I'm here to stay! I just finished my tour in Iraq. It's great to be able to say that." I exclaimed. _Now If I could only leave Iraq in Iraq._ "I have been in the Military for 8 years. It's good to be out." I took a deep breath, and tried to find something else to talk about. "So you're a flight attendant huh?" I asked. _Duh! Of course she is a flight attendant! You dropped your damn glass and head butted her less than 6 hours ago. Loser!_

"Yeah. I have been for years. I actually finished my last trip today though. It's good to be able to stay on the ground for a while." She said. Every time she looked up at me she smiled at me. Her lips were full, and when she smiled they lifted up, exposing a small dimple in each cheek. I wanted to see how she kissed. I wanted to see if her lips tasted as perfect as they looked. I couldn't take my eyes off of her the whole evening. Bella and Edward watched us talking from their table most of the night. We talked about everything we could think about. And when the perfect song came on, I asked her to dance.

… _Just to see you smile_

_I'd do anything- that you wanted me to _

_When all is said and done_

_I'd never count the cost_

_It's worth all that's lost_

_Just to see you smile…_

It was the perfect song to describe the way this creature was making me feel. I had only known her for a couple of hours now, and the magnetism she emitted just got stronger and stronger the more we talked. I put my hand around her waist, and took her delicate hand in mine. She smelled amazing. I took a deep breath right beside her face, and caught the scent again, stronger this time. It was heaven. The black fabric that made up that sexy little dress was soft; it felt so good beneath my fingers. I wanted to kiss her so badly by this point, my lips burned with the desire of it all.

"So, I know I haven't known you long, but can I tell you something?" Alice asked, looking up at me with a sly little smile.

"Anything, as long as you don't tell me I smell like beer." I replied, returning the smile.

"You do smell like beer, but I was going to say, that you are a hell of a dancer. " She grinned.

"Well thanks, I aim to please."

"Now, can I ask you a question?" I asked. I didn't know if I would be able to ask, but I was gonna try it. I silently prayed she didn't reject me.

"Of course!"

_Ok, here goes. Don't blow it man! Ask Her! ASK HER!!!_

"Well, it's just that you have the most amazing lips that I've ever seen, and I know it's really soon, but I would love to kiss you right now." _God man, you just sounded like an idiot… again._

"I don't mind. I was sort of thinking the same thing…"

I slowly ran my hand up her back and to the side of her neck. I could feel her blood pulse through her veins. I felt her tremble beneath my touch, and I knew that she was nervous. I pulled our joined hands apart, and cupped her face. She closed her eyes, and I brushed her lips with mine. She breathed a small sigh, and I deepened the kiss. She opened her mouth just a little, and I pulled her bottom lip into mine. Her breath picked up, and she pulled me by the shirt, closer to her. We were pressed together as much as we could be in public, as I licked her top lip. She returned the gesture, and our tongues danced together. She moaned, and leaned into me. I was lost. I had never been so affected by a kiss in my life. My breathing was erratic, and I hungered for more of her. As close as we were, I was sure she could feel my length against her belly. I could feel her smile, as our lips parted. She looked at me with those honey eyes, and I could only smile back. There were no words for what I felt, and I knew that one kiss would never be enough…


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Hey! I hope you like what has happened so far. I promised to get to the lemons! Its gonna happen, I just want to make sure you're ready! *evil grin***

**SMeyer owns all the characters, I just like to play with them! Enjoy, and please review! Oh yeah, I have to give a big shout to my pal Ashley from .com, I lurve you girl, and thanks for introducing me to .net! Now.... Here... WE... GOOOO!!!!**

"So, How did it go Alice? I saw you two lip-locking!" Bella squealed.

"Oh Bella! He is so amazing! He kisses better than any one I have ever kissed before!" I replied, unable to keep the excitement out of my voice. Jasper was really something else. I have never connected with a guy as quickly as I did with him tonight. I couldn't help but think about how nice it would have been if we could have went home together. Normally I don't kiss on the first date, and really, you couldn't even call this a date, but I couldn't help myself. I felt like a teenager. He made butterflies fly in my stomach and tingles dance up my spine.

"So, he was the sexy man in uniform on the plane? Can you believe the odds?" Bella asked, plopping down indian style on my bed.

"Yeah Bella, I really can't believe it. Now, get your butt off my bed, I NEED SLEEP!!!" I teased, smacking her with my pillow.

"Ok girl, but tomorrow you are gonna SPILL!" She said, jumping up, and heading for the door of my room. She blew a kiss and closed my door. I took off my dress and flats, and put on a long t shirt. It was warm, so I skipped the shorts tonight.

I lay down on my fluffy feather pillows and pulled my blanket up to my chest, and lay back. Finally, some time to actually think about what happened tonight. Jasper Whitlock, southern boy to the core it seems. He looked sexy as hell with his gray t shirt and wrangler jeans. Whoever decided to make those jeans fit that way, knew what they were doing. He even had the cowboy boots. I could still feel where his hands touched me. The feel of his hands would forever be branded on my skin. The first time he touched me, was a shock to my system, it was like a jolt of electricity when he put his hand on my waist for our dance. He couldn't have known that I loved that song. Tim McGraw was by far my favorite country singer.

God, I was so glad he asked me for the kiss. I was dying to kiss him, but I knew I wouldn't have been able to just kiss him without saying something first.

"I've been dying to kiss you. May I?" Jasper asked me, his eyes pleading with me.

"Sure, I have been thinking the same thing." I replied. He ran his hand up my spine and rested it at the nape of my neck. Chills ran up my body. He put his other hand on my chin, and tilted my head. I closed my eyes, and waited for him to kiss me. I could feel his breath on my skin right before his lips brushed against mine. My breath caught when he pulled my bottom lip in between his. Oh, god, he could kiss. I stifled a moan, as he licked my top lip. I opened my mouth, eager to taste. Our tongues touched and I fisted my hands in his t shirt, pulling him against me. I could feel his arousal through his jeans. Oh God! My nipples hardened and my mouth opened more, to take more of his kiss. Our tongues danced together, making me breathless. He ran his hand back down my spine and rested it on my hip. Electricity charged through me, and I moaned. I felt his fingers pull the ribbon holding the sides of my dress together. I gasped. He looked at me for a second, to see if I was ok with it, and I nodded silently, gazing into his icy blue eyes. I ran my hands through his wavy blonde hair, and gently pulled him deeper into our kiss. He pushed the sides of my dress apart, and broke the kiss. He looked at my body, and smiled. He put both of his hands on my hips, and the warmth of his hands set me on fire. I slid my hands from his hair, and down to the hem of his shirt. He helped me pull it over his head. I looked at him now, and ran both my hands from his collarbone to his chest, to his abs, my fingers sliding smoothly over every muscle. He made quick work of my bra, and pulled a nipple into his mouth. He flicked it with his tongue and I felt his teeth graze the tip, and I could feel the warm effect of it all between my thighs. I removed his belt, and he unzipped his pants and started on my other nipple. I could feel his hardness against my belly again, with only a thin pair of boxers between us. He groaned as I took his length into my hands. I needed them both. I pulled his boxers from his waist, and his erection sprang free, His readiness glistening from the tip.

"Jesus Alice, you are so beautiful." He removed my panties and slid a finger to my lower lips. He gently spread me and felt my arousal. I moaned. He massaged my clit with his index finger, and I shuddered from the contact. My breath came in pants now, and I dug my fingers into his biceps so I wouldn't collapse. "Oh god that feels so good. Please just don't stop." I whispered.

"WAKE UP ALICE!" Bella yelled knocking on the bedroom door. I opened my eyes and groaned at the sight of the sunlight spilling through my window. Ugh, I was SO not ready to wake up yet. I got out of my bed, and shuffled sleepily to my bathroom. Damn, now that's what I call a dream!


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Well I don't know about you, but I am really starting to enjoy this! Please review and let me know what you think. I don't own the characters, SMeyer does. I just like to make them do the nasty! LOL… **

JPOV

Tonight was amazing. I couldn't believe that we hit it off so well. Alice was truly an amazing woman. I still couldn't believe that she was the beautiful flight attendant from earlier today. What were the odds? I don't normally ask for a kiss when I have just met someone, it's just not my style. I couldn't help it though. Her lips were shaped perfectly into a pout, and I was surprised at how I yearned to taste them. When we danced, her scent surrounded me. I still couldn't decipher what the familiar fruity floral scent reminded me of. It was pure heaven, whatever it was. It made me relax, in ways that are usually difficult for me. I drifted off to sleep while I thought about the way her hair fell around her face. Her eyes sparkled in the light…

I had just settled in, and was drifting off to sleep, when I heard a deafening explosion. I shot up in my bed, and looked around me. The other soldiers in my unit were just as dumbfounded as I.

"What the hell was that?"

"Shit, it sounded like a bomb!"

"GET UP SOLDIERS! WE HAVE BEEN ATTACKED!"

I pulled on my clothes, and grabbed my weapon, and waited for my orders. I was scared to death, because I had heard the explosion and I could still hear the screaming and crying of victims.

"We need to go help them!" I screamed. I looked around me at the faces of my friends, terror on their faces. They were with me, we were going to try and help our wounded.

I ran out of our tent, and gasped at the site. The tent adjacent to ours was nearly unrecognizable, and I knew the soldiers inside were likely dead. I searched through the debris, and found the familiar face of my friend Paul. I went to his side, and checked his pulse. It was shallow, but there nonetheless.

"Hang on man, I'm gonna get you some help! MAN DOWN!!! "I screamed.

"Somebody help us!" I pleaded.

"Hang on tight Paul, somebody's coming!" I assured him. His eyes were lifeless, and I knew he was gone. I looked around me at the broken bodies, and cried. So many lives lost, and I was powerless to fix or stop any of it.

I shot up in my bed like a rocket. Sweat covered my body. Chills shot through me. I was so tired of nightmares. It was getting to the point where I just didn't even want to attempt to sleep anymore. If I did try and stay awake, the longer I was sleep deprived, the more vivid my dreams were when I did succumb to the exhaustion. I sighed, and lay back down in my bed. I glanced at my clock, and saw that it was only 4 am. There was no reason to try and go back to sleep. It wasn't going to happen. I got up and headed into the kitchen. I needed coffee.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Ok, so I got my first bit of negative feedback, and It was a bit disheartening, but I'm a big girl and I appreciate your opinions. Please keep them coming. **

APOV

Bella was still beating on my door.

"ALICE! YOU HAVE A PHONE CALL!!!" She yelled at me through the door. I was headed for the shower, and the call was going to have to wait. My imagination had definitely caused the need for a shower. I had never dreamed like that about someone I hardly knew. Not that I minded, but it seems my self conscious was a bit ahead of the game. Jasper was sexy as hell, and I really liked him, but I did not see myself having sex with him in the near future.

"ALICE BRANDON! JASPER IS ON THE PHONE FOR YOU!" Oh, well that was a different story all together. I tripped over my own feet trying to get to the door.

"Hello? pause Hey Jasper! pause Yeah, that's fine! I would love to! pause Of course! pauseOh…um… horse riding? Uh… ok? Hmm…pauseYeah Yeah! Its fine! I will be ready in like an hour and a half ok? pause Yeah, see ya then! Hangs up"

Oh shit. I have never in my life been on a horse. "BELLA!!!!" I called nervously. She came back to my door, and poked her head in. "What's up? " She asked suspiciously.

"Um, Jasper wants to take me horse riding… I don't know how to ride a horse."

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure he will teach you everything you need to know. " She replied with a wink.

"Jesus Bella, you are not helping!" I exclaimed.

"Don't worry about it Alice, It will be fine! Not to mention that a good ride on a horse can be… interesting. "Bella said, dismissing my nervousness.

I didn't know how to take her little statement, I had heard that riding a horse causes a bit of friction between the knees, but I highly doubted that it could do more than that. I looked into my closet, unsure of what to wear, so I settled for a pair of straight leg jeans and some old cowboy boots. I didn't know what kind of top to wear, so I just slid on a v neck cotton tee and tucked it into my jeans. I looked at myself in the mirror… Gah, this was not at all what I normally wear. I looked so, Southern, that I could only laugh at my attire choice. I pulled my hair into a little ponytail, and applied some makeup. I wasn't going to be caught dead anywhere near Jasper without my makeup. I didn't care if we were mud wrestling, I was still gonna try to look nice. I checked myself out in my mirror once more, and frowned at the scar that reached from my neck to my collarbone. I ran my finger down it, and sighed. It would have to do.

Jasper showed up right on time, and was looking very sexy in another tight pair of wrangler jeans and a T shirt. God, I couldn't help but think back to last night's dream when I ran my fingers down his muscular torso. You could see his muscles through that thin cotton shirt, and I did my best to keep from staring.

"You look perfect Alice. You ready to go?" He said, holding his hand out to me. I took it and Bella winked at me as we left the apartment. I followed him outside to his truck, and stared at it wide eyed. It was old. It was very high off the ground. I was going to need a step ladder.

"Um, how am I supposed to get into this thing?" I asked, reaching up to open the door.

"I'm going to help you Alice. Trust me; you'll like my truck before this day is over with. "He replied, opening the door for me. There was a little step under the door, and I almost had to lift my foot as far off the ground as it would go to step up onto it. He kept hold of my hand, and put his other hand on my waist, boosting me up into the truck. His hand was warm on my side, and again, the thought of it took me back to my dream.

"Ok grab the handle on the door, and pull yourself the rest of the way in. You know this truck isn't really that high off the ground, you are just a little shorter than the regular passengers. "He said with a grin.

"I can't help my shortness. I'm vertically challenged!" I said, kidding back at him. I sat in my seat, and the scent of him filled the small space. He smelled amazing. It wasn't cologne, no; it was natural earthy man smell. I breathed in as much of him as I could, while he went around to his side of the truck. He opened his door and climbed in, without the slightest hesitation. He put his key into the ignition and cranked the truck to life. IT. WAS. LOUD. It wasn't an ear piercing loud; it was a roaring, powerful rumble that vibrated the whole truck. It would not take a whole lot of time riding in this thing to get me going. He smiled at me, as he backed out of his parking space.

"You've never been in a big truck before have you Alice?" He asked.

"No, not that I recall. Planes and cars are my normal transportation." I replied.

"I'm going to show you something today... You will love my truck before today is over with." I looked at him with wide eyes, my cheeks turning crimson. Surely he didn't mean it the way I heard it. There was something I wanted him to show me in this truck, but he couldn't have meant what I was thinking.

"So, you ready to take a ride?" He asked, grinning at me. My skin returned to its natural shade, whew, ok, so he wasn't talking about sex, but I was sure thinking about it.

"Um…I guess so?" He smiled at me as he slowed and turned off on a dirt road. As soon as we got off the blacktop, we started bouncing down the tiny little dirt road, I held on as tightly as I could, trying to stay in my seat. He stopped the truck, and I immediately strapped my seatbelt on. I felt like I was definitely going to need it. He bent down and did something to his tire, God, I hoped it wasn't flat. He stood back up and walked around to my side. He grinned at me through the window and I smiled back nervously. He bent down again at the front tire, and stood right back up. He grinned at me again, and walked back around, returning to his seat. He put on his seatbelt, and winked at me.

"Oh God…" I didn't mean to say it out loud, but he laughed a little, and squeezed my hand.

"This is going to be fun, just hold on tight ok?" He said, chuckling.

"Ok" I squeaked nervously. "Did you have a flat or something?" I was still unsure of what he did to the tires.

"No, the tires are fine. I just locked in the hubs." He said, putting the truck in gear.

I didn't have a clue what hubs were, but I hoped they made the ride smoother than the bumpy trip off of the highway. He started down the road slowly, using a separate set of gears on the floor of the truck. Ok, I could handle this. It wasn't a problem at all. He looked at me again, and I was sure he could see how nervous I was. He grinned again, and took a quick turn off of the dirt road… there wasn't any more road… where were we going?

We started down a grassy hill, picking up speed a little. I looked down the hill we were descending, and saw a swimming pool sized mud puddle at the bottom.

"Oh God! Jasper! That's a freaking lake!" I said gripping the handle on the door. I was scared to death, we were going to drown in the super sized mud puddle, I was sure of it.

He slowed a bit right before we hit the puddle, and mud splattered up all over the sides and front of the truck. He stopped right as we cleared the puddle, and backed up… Surely he didn't want to do that again! I gripped the seat, and was sure we were going to get stuck in the massive mud pit. He backed into the puddle and again, mud splattered all over the truck. He was grinning ear to ear, he was freaking loving it! He stomped the gas, and the tires spun, slinging mud everywhere. I started laughing, this was actually fun! He wouldn't do anything to hurt us; he obviously knew what he was doing.

"Come over here beside me!" Jasper said, laughing as he cleared the puddle again. We stopped in the grass, and I unbuckled my seatbelt and slid over next to him. He put his arm around me, and locked his eyes on mine.

"Did you like that?" He asked, pulling me close.

"Yes, it was fun. " I admitted with a smile. My breath caught, as I looked back into his eyes. He took his other hand off the steering wheel , and cupped my chin.

"I knew you would like it." He whispered. Then he took his arm that was around my shoulder and pulled me tightly against his chest. He rubbed his thumb against my bottom lip, and I could feel his breath on me. He crushed his lips against mine, and I moaned. His tongue met mine, and the contact sent chills through me. His breathing was labored, as he grabbed my thigh and hitched my leg over his, until I was seated on his lap. He unlatched his seatbelt, and slid over to the middle of the truck, so that my back wasn't against the steering wheel. He ran his hands up my spine and slipped his fingers to my ponytail. He removed the tie, and my hair fell around my face. I fisted my hands in his wavy blonde hair, and he groaned into my mouth. I panted against him, and deepened our kiss. I could feel his muscular body against my chest, and I wanted more.

"Oh Jasper," I sighed. "Touch me, please. " I pleaded. He pulled my shirt from my jeans and over my head. He looked at me for a moment, before he unclasped my bra. "You're so beautiful Alice." He took my breasts into his palms, and squeezed gently. I gasped. It felt so good. No one had ever affected me like this before. He took a nipple into his mouth and sucked gently. When his teeth grazed my nipple, I shuddered. He looked up at me, and grinned. I smiled back at him, and tilted my head back, exposing all I could so that he could do with me whatever he wanted. He ran a finger from my neck to my collarbone, tracing my scar, and I froze.

"What happened here Alice?" He asked.

"Oh, that's nothing." I replied, gripping the hem of his shirt. I wanted his skin on me; I wanted to feel everything I had imagined in my dream last night.

He was everything I had imagined and more, he was muscular, with a light fuzz of blond hair on his chest. I ran my fingers down his muscles like I had imagined the night before, and he adjusted me so that I could feel his erection through his jeans. Oh, he was bigger than I had imagined, if it were possible. He unzipped my jeans, and I kicked off my boots. He reached down between my legs and felt the moisture collecting in my panties. He cupped my center, and rubbed my sensitive clit between two fingers. He gasped as I moaned at the much needed friction. He turned me around, and laid me back onto the seat of the truck. He made quick work of my jeans, and threw them to the floor. He kissed me through my panties, and I couldn't disguise the wave of pleasure that pulsed through me. He pulled at the lace, and dropped them in the floor with my jeans, and spread my legs.

"You are even more beautiful here than I had imagined. I didn't think it was possible." He whispered, as he pulled me into his mouth. His tongue flicked my sensitive bud, and it sent me over the edge. I screamed his name as the waves pulsed through me, and I grew wetter at the thought of what else he could do to me. He continued taking me with his mouth, and sent me over the edge again, seconds later.

I sat up, knowing I couldn't wait any longer to show him a little gratitude for all he had done with me. I pulled his jeans down to his knees, and was a bit shocked to see that he wasn't wearing any underwear. I hitched my leg over him again, and grabbed his hard cock with both hands. He kissed my neck, and bit at my collarbone as he lightly pinched my nipples. I positioned myself onto him, and moaned at the feel of him stretching my opening. I pushed down with my hips quickly, and we both gasped at the feel of our perfect fit. His eyes widened, and I smiled down at him. He smiled back at me instantly, and placed his hands on my hips. I raised my hips, and we quickly created a pattern of ups and downs. I ground my hips against him each time he filled me. He leaned back farther into his seat, making him slide deeper each time. I put my hands on his sholders, and my breath came in shallow gasps, as I felt the tightness grow in my belly. I panted against his mouth, as he captured my lips again.

"Alice, I'm gonna…" I felt him twitching underneath me, and his hands tightened on my hips. I leaned forward and ground myself into him, feeling myself on the edge again.

"Me too…" I gasped, as our bodies met their release at the same time. I collapsed onto his chest, and sighed happily.

"I like mud riding." I whispered, and grinned as the tiny after-shocks ran through my body.

**A/N Well, I hope this little experience was as fun for you as it was for me. Please review and let me know what you think. I can't wait to hear what you have to say!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N OK, so life smacked me in the head last week and I wasn't able to check in on Jasper and Alice after their little sexcapade in the truck. Damn, those country boys sure know how to throw us for a loop don't they? I based that little adventure on a similar one my husband and I shared back in the dating days… *wink* hope you enjoyed it as much as we did… **

**So now, Jasper is back at home. I know, I skipped the horse riding trip, but I promise you, Jasper likes to go off in la la land a bit, and he has a fine tuned memory… **

JPOV

I had never liked a girl this fast. I didn't know what to think about that. I was sure we were moving too fast. I had only known her for two days before we'd had sex. It had been my experience that most girls don't have sex with you early on, unless they didn't want to have a later on with you. I was confused by my theory. She didn't just want to go home after we'd had sex in my truck. She had wanted to meet Lindsay. I was glad, because my sister would have been pissed at me if I didn't show up after I had talked her into letting us come by.

Her smiles were few and far between after we started back down the dirt road. I thought she was beginning to regret what happened, when she turned to me after a few minutes, and asked me if I was ever afraid to get close to the horses. I assured her that they were gentle, and Lindsay was great with them. They would be on their best behavior. She seemed to relax a little after we started talking about Lindsay. She seemed interested so I shared with her my feelings for my sister.

Lindsay was a true country girl. She had a heart of gold, and nerves of steel. My sister was older than me, but only by a little under a year. Her horses were her life. She trained them for shows, and she loved every minute of it. Her horses were her job, but she never seemed to look at it that way. She was always great with them, since we were kids; she just knew how to handle them. She could tame a wild horse, in record time. Her favorite thing however, was barrel racing. She was fast, and trained her horses to be the best. She competed regularly, and always came out on top. When Lindsay raced her horses, it was like she made herself a part of the horse. She put all her trust into them.

Lindsay could always find the best in someone. She believed that there was always good in someone, even if you had to dig for it. She was there for me, when I needed someone growing up. She never let me down. She knew the best for me, and wasn't afraid to tell me when what I was doing wasn't it. It was strange, but I wanted Lindsay to meet Alice. I barely knew her myself, but a part of me wanted to know if she could feel that strange magnetism that I felt when I was around her now.

Lindsay was sitting on her front porch when Alice and I pulled up. As soon as I stopped the truck and got out, Lindsay was up and running. I just stopped where I was and waited. I had missed her so much in the last few months. I watched my big sister run towards me with her wild red hair flying everywhere. I had always picked at her about that red hair. No one else in the family had it, so she had to be the red headed step child! She ran to me and we hugged. She wanted to meet Alice right away, and I walked her over to the passenger side of the truck. Alice was opening the door, when I got to her, and I held out my hand and helped her down from the seat.

"What a gentleman." Lindsay said, and smirked at me. She elbowed me when I winked at her. "He really isn't all that sweet honey, let me go ahead and warn you."

"Oh, really? He's been such a charmer!" Alice said, eyeing me.

"Please Linds… you know I treat the girls well, it's just you I am an ass to." I teased.

"Yeah Yeah, I forgot." Lindsay replied.

"Well I'm Alice. And I just met your brother yesterday, so far, so good." Alice said, taking Lindsay's hand. She caught my eye when she said it, and smiled at me. Well, two could play the double meaning game.

"That's good to know, Alice, I'll try and keep up the good work." I replied winking at her.

"Hey Alice! It's really nice to meet you!" Lindsay said, studying us. "Hmm…" she said, under her breath.

She took us to meet the horses, and Alice stiffened beside me as we reached the corrals.

"Its ok honey, these horses are not scary at all" Lindsay said, taking Alice by the hand. I knew that Lindsay would be able to pick up on her fast. This was going to be great. We rode the horses all afternoon, and by the time Lindsay walked us back to the truck, Alice was arm in arm with her. They had hit it off perfectly. I wasn't sure why I was so happy about that. Again, I barely knew Alice, and this was all unfamiliar territory. I had never taken a girl to meet Lindsay so fast.

We all said our goodbyes and I helped Alice back into the truck. We rode quietly back towards her apartment, and just before I turned onto their street, she stopped me.

"Can I see your apartment?" She asked, looking me straight in the eye.

"Are you sure about that?" I asked. "I mean, it's not that great." I smiled.

"Oh, well it's bound to be as good as the truck." She replied, fidgeting a little. I just looked at her, stunned. She wasn't upset at all about earlier. She was fine with it all, and judging by the looks of her now, she wanted to see if I would try it again with her.

"If you don't want to that's fine Jasper." She said, raising an eyebrow. I had offended her by not responding. I was a little shocked at her for that, but I came up with my best response.

"Alice, I don't care where we go, I just don't want to do anything to, you know, mess this up."

"I see." She replied, looking down at her hands. "Do you think I am rushing into something Jasper?" She continued, looking up at me. "I honestly, am not sure what to think about this." She finished, gesturing at the two of us. She was just as confused about the situation as I was. I sighed.

"Alice, I have never been as drawn to someone as I am to you. I know that sounds crazy and cheesy, but I mean it." I said gripping the wheel. I felt like an idiot. I felt like I had no balls. The testosterone in my body was absent, because no guy in their right state of mind would be this damn soft over a girl he just met. She gasped. Surely she thought I was gay. Well, I had to save my manhood here, so instead of talking about feelings and shit anymore, I just grabbed her by her waist and slid her over to my side. "We're going to my place." I growled.

We got there in record time, because I swear I barely even remembered there was a speed limit. I jumped out of the truck, and pulled her over to my door. She set her feet, so that she wouldn't fall out of the truck, and I put my hands on her waist. She slid down the front of me, pressing against me as she lowered herself to the ground. I was trying to slow it all down, but my mind was beyond that, and I just about drug her to the door. I fumbled with my keys, and finally got the door unlocked. I kicked the door shut when we were inside, and she crushed her lips against mine. No way, she wasn't going to do it this way this time. I was going to show her that I was a real man. I wouldn't let her take me under the way she had before. I spun us around, and pinned her between me and the door. She looked up at me with a hazy grin, and I snatched my shirt off of my chest. She started for my jeans, and I locked her tiny wrists in one hand, and raised them over her head against the door. I pulled her shirt from her jeans, and up over her breasts, watching her chest rise and fall with each unsteady breath. Yeah, I was in control this time, she wouldn't be able to affect me as much this way. I didn't know her enough to be so powerless against her. I had to fix it now. I kept her wrists in my hand, and shoved the other down the front of her pants. She moaned, and licked my neck. I pushed her head back against the door with my forehead, and kissed her hard, making her moan again. My cock throbbed painfully against my jeans. I let her hands go, and she immediately fisted them in my hair. She pulled a little, and it was my turn to moan. I rubbed her sensitive clit, and she squeezed her thighs around my hand. I pulled my hand away from her, and she whimpered against my chest. I picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around my waist. I turned to take her to my room, and willed my legs to make it that far. I kicked open the door to my room and she let go of me long enough to push it back closed after we were inside. I kicked off my boots, and she started for my zipper again.

"Let me take care of that." I whispered, and bit her earlobe. She gasped, and writhed against me. I dropped her down onto my bed, and she wiggled out of her shoes and jeans. She made quick work of her bra and panties, and I shed my jeans in seconds. I leaned down to her, and kissed her lightly on the lips. She deepened the kiss, and I moved away from her mouth to her throat. I licked and kissed my way down her chest to her belly, and looked up to her. Her eyes pleaded with me to take her, and I grinned up at her. I would, but this time, it was going to be on my terms. I took her by the hips, and flipped her over to her stomach. She rose up to her hands and knees and looked back at me.

"Is this what you want?" She asked, biting her lip. She pushed back against me and it was all I could do to keep from taking her just like that. The look on her face, didn't match her voice. She knew I was upset. How could she? The one look from her changed my whole mindset. What was I doing? This is not how I wanted her. I didn't have to be an ass to her to show her I could take care of her. I pulled her up off her hands, so she was facing away from me, and wrapped my hands around her tiny little frame.

"No," I whispered. I kissed the back of her neck, her head fell back onto my left shoulder, and she nodded. "This is better." I spread her thighs a little and felt her center. She was ready for me. I entered her, and she lifted her right hand and put it on my right cheek. She pulled our mouths together, and our lips met.

"Oh Jasper." She whispered against my mouth. "Could I love you already?" she asked.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Hi everyone! I hoped you liked the last chapter. Please review after each chapter you read, as it fuels my story maker! So basically, Jasper has a few issues, we've touched on it a little. Alice has a scar, but something tells me it's not just skin deep. This gets a little tough, hold on, it's going to get a little intense.**

APOV

Jasper was outlining my scar again. This was the second time today. I could feel him preparing to ask me about it again. I rolled from my back to my stomach, shielding myself from him. I needed to think about all of this. I barely knew him, but I was seriously beginning to think that love was beginning to form here. He was nothing I had ever experienced. I was drawn to him since the plane. Our second meeting was surely a sign. I could see us together in the future. I could feel that there was a connection that was deeper than lust. My feelings worried me. I didn't know what to do about them. I was serious when I asked if it were possible that I could already love him. Love is a beautiful thing, and nothing compares to it. Love had hurt me before. It had cut me, and left me bleeding. I knew that Jasper wanted to know about my scar. He wouldn't have asked about it in the truck if he didn't. I glanced over at him, and met his eyes. He was watching me.

"It's ok if you don't want to talk about it." He whispered. "I was just curious."

He knew exactly what was going through my thoughts. Should I tell him? What if it made him back away from me? I didn't think that I would be able to just forget about our time together. I sighed, and sat up on the bed. I took a deep breath, and pulled my hair away from my neck. I leaned over to him, and allowed him to touch me again. My scar started at my jawbone, and ran a jagged line straight down my throat, and across my collarbone. It stopped there, but I lifted my arm, to show him that it picked back up at my under arm, and thickened right beside my breast.

"Jesus, Alice, who the hell did this to you?" He asked, angrily.

"Well, after I started working for the airlines, I met this really nice pilot. He was a little older than me, and he was a big time macho type guy. James, that's his name, was really sweet for a while, you know, he just said all the right things, and swept me off my feet pretty fast. He and I used to sneak away between flights, and he was really dominant in bed you know, but I never saw anything bad in it, I just thought it was more of that macho personality he had. He was a little rough with me, but for the most part, he never hurt me. We were rarely separated. Then I got scheduled on a different flight plan from him, and mainly we just talked while we weren't flying. We missed each other, but you know, it was ok. We talked as much as we could. Well, after a 16 hour flight one night, I went straight to my room, and crashed. I was so tired, and I just assumed James would be ok with it. You know, he would understand, after all, he did the same thing as I did. It was tiring trying to keep up with it all." I checked Jasper's face, and knew he wanted me to continue. "Well, I woke up the next morning, and was almost late for my flight prep. I didn't even have time to check my phone. Needless to say, James was really worried, and had called me SEVERAL times through the night and that morning. I had voice messages and text messages coming out of my ears. I felt bad for worrying him, but was also a little peeved that he was upset with me for not calling. I did have to work. I did have a life outside of him. So instead of calling him, I texted him back, and said that I had been very busy with work, and as soon as I could get a break, I would call him, and we'd meet up. Well, I guess that made him mad with me Jasper, because before I got finished with my flight, he had cancelled both our flights for the next two days, and texted me back, saying that we WOULD be spending the next two days catching up." I paused, and wrapped one of Jasper's blankets around me. "So, I decided not to see him. I texted him back, that he was an ass for canceling my plans, because I had bills that counted on that money, and now, they were going to be late. I called my boss, and told him that James had called in for me without my consent, and I was back on schedule before I returned to my room that night. I was proud with myself for standing up to him. I was hurt because he didn't care about my feelings, and didn't care if I was tired. I had planned to try and see him again after a few days, but I wanted to let him cool off first. I didn't want to end our relationship over the phone, and I wasn't for sure I wanted to end it anyway. After all, until then, he had been the perfect gentleman you know? So finally, I got back to my room that night, and again, I had voice messages and texts that got uglier by the minute. I ignored him. He was mad, but he would either get over it, or find someone else. I was tired, and I didn't really care which. So I got in my shower, and I was so tired, I remember just about falling asleep standing up under the hot flow of water. I heard a knock on my door, and I sighed. He had probably been aggravating the front desk of my hotel while I wasn't answering my calls. I got out of the shower, and put on my bathrobe, and was heading for my suitcase when he grabbed me from behind my back. He pulled my hair, hard. He had my right arm pulled behind my back and was twisting my fingers. It hurt. I remember him snatching at my robe, and the only thing I could think of was, OH GOD, HE'S CRAZY! He snatched my robe off of me, and even though I had been naked in front of him dozens of times, I was mortified. I tried to cover myself, you know, to have some dignity. I got my arm free for a second, and I saw his eyes before he pushed me down. Jasper, he looked like a lunatic. I mean, there was no life to his face at all. He smirked at me. I had never been so scared in my life! I told him that he had better leave, and he reached into his pocket. I didn't know what he was going to do, so I tried to run from him. He was on me before I even got off the floor good, and he had a knife against my throat. I could feel how sharp it was, and it was poking into my skin a little at my jaw. I was scared to death, and I couldn't move. He kept that knife on me and was taking his clothes off. God, I was terrified, and all I could do was think, Please don't rape me, Please don't rape me. He fumbled a little with his pants, and nicked my skin with the knife. I started crying, and begging him not to do it, but he never heard me. Or if he did, he never listened. It seemed like hours. The whole time, he kept that damn knife on my neck, and I could feel blood sticking to my face from the little cut he had made. I started feeling sick, sometime during it all, and I was getting really angry. I didn't know what to do to him, so I just went with my instinct, and sent a knee into his groin. I guess it wasn't the smartest thing to do, because when I did it, he cut me. "I said, trailing my finger down my neck and stopping at my collarbone. "It's not a real deep cut. Deep or not, though, it bled like hell. When I hit him, he rolled off of me, and I really don't think that he meant to cut me like that. I got up onto my knees and was trying to stand up when he grabbed me again. He snatched me by my arm, and then stuck the knife in right here. "I said, pointing to the thick scar on my side. "You know, I don't think I even felt it when it happened. Adrenaline I guess. I always thought that metal was really strong and sturdy, or whatever, but when he stabbed me, he tried to like, twist the knife or something, and the blade broke. My doctors said it was pure luck that it broke, and the blade stayed inside of me, because that's what kept me from bleeding to death. "

I stopped talking and just sat there. Jasper was speechless. I noticed that I was rocking. I stopped, and just sat there, thinking about what I had just said.

"Alice…" Jasper started.

"Jasper," I gasped, reality had sunk in, "Jasper, I have never told anyone else what happened. Not even Bella…" Then I cried. I REALLY cried. Jasper didn't freak out, or leave the room, or laugh at me, like I thought people would, If I had ever worked up the courage to actually retell the story. Jasper pulled me onto his lap, and rocked with me.

"It's ok. I understand." He said, and repeated it over and over.

"I don't think anyone does." I said, sullenly. "I've lived with this inside of me for years. Flying has just made me think about it more and more. That's why I quit. I couldn't talk to anyone about it Jasper, no one would understand. "

**A/N Ok, that was a little intense for me, I hope you could feel it too. Let me know what you think. I live for reviews, and the more I get the more eager I am to start the next chapter. I believe Jasper has something he needs to say as well, so let me know if you think he is ready to share his secret with her.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N I don't own any of these characters. I just like to play Barbie with them. So, Alice explained her little scar, and Jasper seems about ready to share his little problem too. Please remember, Edward doesn't know Jasper's secret, but he does know something is up. We're gonna have a little Edward and Bella time soon too guys, just hang with it a while. **

JPOV

My heart was pounding. I was angry for Alice. She didn't deserve to be treated the way James had treated her. Hell, no one does. She hadn't ever told anyone about it? Damn, not even Bella? I couldn't say much, I was hiding something too. I was sure Edward had an idea about my problem, but I had never told him what happened. I was having some mixed feelings here, Alice had told me her secret, could I trust her with mine?

Alice was still crying. Her whole body was shaking. "I understand Alice, I really do." I said it, before I realized it was even out of my mouth.

"You do?" she sniffled, looking at me. Her eyes were questioning me, wondering if I was just trying to be supportive. I was, I wanted to help her through it, but something inside of me said I wouldn't be able to unless I told her about my problem too. She needed to hear that it was ok to talk about it. Hell, I did too. We were in the same boat here, and we had both given up paddling a long time ago. _Go for it, she wants to know._ My brain coaxed me, and I took a deep breath.

"Alice, I understand what it's like to not be able to tell anyone about your pain. I live with a pain that consumes me every day. It hurts me more than any physical pain I could ever encounter. I am home from the military because I couldn't take it anymore. It was affecting me in ways I didn't even see." I hesitated. Was I really ready for this? My hands shook and my breathing was ragged. I could feel the tightness in my chest. I reached into a drawer and retrieved my little pill bottle. My face reddened as she questioned me with her eyes again.

"It's Klonopin." I said, taking a pill out of the bottle and sliding it beneath my tongue. I began to feel it take effect as the tiny pill dissolved. My breathing fell more into a pattern, and my chest eased a little.

"I take it for anxiety attacks, you know, from post-traumatic stress?" I explained, shoving the bottle back into its hiding place. "I saw a lot of stuff that fucked with my head. It still does sometimes. I have nightmares about it; sometimes they are so real they make me do things in my sleep." I said with my breathing back to its steady pace.

"Is that what happened with the scratches?" She asked me, pointing to my stomach.

"Yeah, crazy huh?" I joked nervously.

"No Jasper, its not crazy, its just, scary." She said with hesitation in her voice.

"I watched a lot of people die Alice. I saw a lot of shit go down. I tried to help every time I had a chance, and it never did any good. Kids tried to kill me, women tried to kill me, every time I turned my head, I feared the person beside me would be the one to finish me off. I met a really cool guy named Paul in basic training, and we got to tour Iraq together twice. A week after we got into our second tour; Paul and I were talking about his wife. He just got a letter from her, and he was reading it. We were in his tent, and he showed me a really fuzzy looking picture. I didn't know what the hell it was. He didn't either, but about half way through the letter, he got all excited and said it was a picture of a baby, HIS baby. A little bit after that I was back in my tent, going to sleep for the night, and I heard an explosion. The ground beneath me shook like an earthquake. It took me a second to realize what happened. Paul died in the bombing; he was a tent down from mine, less than 50 feet between our two tents. 15 people died in his tent, and no one from mine was hurt. I tried to help him, but he was gone. When that happened, I wanted to be the one to tell his wife. I had met her before, while we were on leave, and she knew that Paul and I were really good friends. I've been on medical leave since then. I don't plan to ever go back."

I breathed in deeply, the tightness still in my chest, but manageable. Alice was still taking it all in, and hand tears in her eyes again.

"Oh Jasper, That's terrible." She whispered, leaning to me.

"He was a great guy. That baby is due sometime soon. It's a girl." I said, picking at a fingernail.

"I'm sure he was." She replied. I took a deep breath, and sighed. I felt better for talking to her about it. I was sure things would be easier to talk about now. I wasn't sure why I was so drawn to Alice, or why I shared my secret with her, but she trusted me with her's and that was all that mattered. I didn't know anything about the feelings I was having for Alice, but I knew that it wouldn't be easy to break them. I didn't want to even try. I put my arm around her, and she wiggled down and got comfortable with her head on my chest. I kissed her forehead and closed my eyes.

"Jasper, do you believe in love?" She asked with a yawn.

"I don't know Alice, I haven't really thought about it."

"I do. I just haven't really experienced it until now." She said, looking up at me. My eyes shot open and I looked down at her. She smiled, and kissed my cheek. Before I could reply, she said, "I know you're mixed up right now Jasper, but it will be better soon. We have plenty of time to figure it all out."


	12. Just a Note

**Ok, so this is not the next chapter, but I really want to make sure you guys know to review what you read after each chapter. I don't care if it's good or bad, I just want an honest review. Yeah, the bad ones sting a little, but I wouldn't be asking if I really didn't want them. **

**Thanks for all your reviews that you've posted so far, and please feel free to leave suggestions about my grammar, or even how the story is going, I want your ideas, your thoughts, etc. **

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know what you think. I have had lots of hits, but not a whole lot of reviews. I really need to know what I'm doing wrong if someone doesn't like how it's going. **


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N I posted a little note in the place of chapter twelve asking for reviews. I got several more from that, and I just want to thank everyone who posted something. You guys are awesome, and your reviews are my muse. The more reviews I get, the more I write… You know how that works. Anyway, I really am excited about this chapter, we're gonna spend a little time with Bella and Edward. I hope you like how things go today, and PLEASE don't forget to review after you finish each chapter. Oh yeah, I don't own any of my characters that's all SMEYER, I just like to play with their heads. **

APOV

I had just dosed off, and Jasper had been asleep for several minutes when I heard it. I was a bit disoriented, and it took me a second to focus and figure out where I was. I looked around me, clothes strewn everywhere. I suddenly felt very naked. Well, I was actually very naked so that was to be expected. Jasper had an arm thrown over my waist, and he was snoring a little. I wiggled out from under him, and heard the sound again. It sounded like a thump. Hmmm… Weird.

BANG

I gasped, and Jasper turned over onto his side. I tiptoed over towards the wall and put my ear up. Nothing happened.

BANG

Something slammed against the wall on the opposite side from my ear. I shrieked, and instantly covered my mouth.

"What th-"A voice said.

Oh No, It was Edward. I stood very still, hoping he was talking about something else instead of me. I looked around the dark room, searching blindly for my clothes. Oh no, my shirt was in the living room. I got down on all fours, and searched through the scatter of clothing. My Jeans! Thank God! I didn't worry with trying to find my panties; the jeans would just have to do. I snatched them up over my butt and fastened them with lightening speed. I could hear Edward mumbling, and walking towards the room. Ohhh! Please let me find my bra!!! I silently prayed for God to send me a shirt, when Edward snatched open the bedroom door. Lights flooded the room, and I franticly tried to cover myself.

"What the fuck Alice?" Edward asked, gaping at me. Jasper awoke with the commotion, and fell out of the bed, naked.

"Excuse me, do you knock?" I asked Edward, trying to shield myself.

"Alice, this is MY Apartment." Edward said, leaning against the doorway, amused.

"Not this part." Jasper said with a sleepy yawn. I just stood there, watching the two of them in their amused states. I was in my jeans, and I didn't even have my belt fastened. I was trying my best to keep myself covered, but my little arms weren't covering much beside my nipples. I looked over to Japer with a give-me-a damn-t shirt look, and he grinned at me. My chin almost hit the floor, as I saw my bra underneath his elbow. I gave him the meanest look I could come up with and walked over to snatch my bra up. He caught on to me right before I reached him, and picked it up, twirled it on his finger. I gaped at him.

"May I have that please, or are you just going to make me stand here naked in front of your friend?" I asked, sharply. I wasn't mad, I was embarrassed. Edward just stood there, leaning against the door casing. Like it was just a normal day and Jasper was always naked in the floor with a girl partially naked beside him.

"So I take it you two hit things off pretty well." Edward grinned as I turned my back to him. He wasn't looking directly at me, but I was sure he had seen enough already.

"We aren't fighting if that's what you mean." I replied with a smirk over my shoulder. I kicked Jasper's jeans over to him, and he winked at me.

"You ass! Don't you dare wink at me, find me a damn shirt!" I snapped. I smiled, I couldn't help but smile at him, he was grinning ear to ear, like it was just another day.

I scanned the room, looking for a dresser or a closet. I saw neither. So there I was jeans and bra. I put my hands on my hips, and waited. Tears started to sting at my eyes. I was so embarrassed. Neither of them even cared. Jasper stood up and walked over to me; then he wiped my tears from my eyes, and kissed my forehead.

"Hey Edward, you want to give us a minute?" He asked, and pointed to the door.

"Sure Jazz. I'm sorry Alice; I didn't mean to embarrass you. It's ok really, I didn't see anything. Of yours anyway, I think Jazz's bare ass is going to be branded into my brain though." He said, turning back to head out of the room. "Its so tight Jazz, you must do lots of lunges." He said with a chuckle. I couldn't help but smile again, and more tears streamed down my face.

"Shut the hell up and close the door!" Jasper yelled with a grin.

"I'm so embarrassed! Jasper, I need my shirt, I have to get out of here." I said, my sentences running together.

"No, you don't have to go anywhere Alice. It's fine, really! Edward just likes to joke around." He said, wrapping his arms around me. "I swear, if he said he didn't see anything, he really didn't." He said, rubbing my back. "Edward wouldn't lie about something like that. He didn't know it would upset you. I promise he won't say anything else to you about it if you don't bring it up." He said, and with each word, he calmed me, and I saw the humor instead of the embarrassment.

"Just go get my shirt." I replied with a sigh. Jasper let go of me, and left the room. I groaned, and looked down at myself. Well, at least my bra wasn't see-through.


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N Ok, so the last chapter was pretty interesting huh? I thought we needed to lighten things up a bit. I have to shout out to **_**Luke's Mom**_**! She is awesome! Thanks for all the reviews so far and please keep em' coming! I promise, the more I get, the faster the chapters come! Don't be afraid to tell me if something doesn't sound right or if it doesn't fit. I need all the help I can get! SMeyer owns all the characters, I just like to have my way with them!**

JPOV

There were groceries strewn all over the living room floor. Edward was picking them up when I went to get the rest of our clothes.

"So…" Edward said, looking at me.

"What?" I asked. I knew that this would be coming since Edward saw us. I just didn't want it to happen now.

"Are you going to keep seeing her?" Edward asked cautiously. Well, I wasn't expecting this. Edward thought I was just sleeping with Alice, and was going to send her on home. It kind of pissed me off. Alice was better than that. She was better than me, and I wasn't going to let Edward think that it was just a fuck and duck. No way.

"I've never felt like I do with her." I replied with my teeth clenched.

"What so you think you can just sleep with her and get it out of your system? I don't think it works that way Jazz." Edward said, matching my frustration. He finished picking up the groceries and walked them to the counter. "Bella loves Alice, and I'll be damned if you hurt her." He said, slamming them down one by one on the countertop.

"Whoa, I didn't say that man. Can you just listen to me?" I snatched open the refrigerator door and pulled out two beers. I slammed one down on the counter, and opened the other. I took a deep breath, and let it back out. "I know I just met her yesterday Edward, but we're connected. Jesus, this sounds so fucking crazy, but I mean, I could seriously love her man. When I saw her on the plane, I couldn't even speak. It was pathetic! I just stared at her, and my mind was screaming at me to fucking talk, but nothing would come out. I thought about her all day yesterday. When I saw her at the bar, and she came up to us, man I thought my damn heart was going to explode in my chest." I downed half my beer and took in another deep breath. "I took her to see Lindsay today. I really don't even know why. I barely know her you know, and I wanted my sister to meet her so I could see if she liked her."

"Well, did she?" Edward asked, curiously. I nodded. "What did she say?"

"She said that there was a pull between us. She's never seen that before with anyone. She said that Alice was perfect for me. It kind of pissed me off to be honest. I didn't want to hear that from her. I really don't know what I wanted to hear, but that was far from it." I explained.

"Well, does she feel that way about you? I mean, you know the love part?" Edward asked, after drinking his beer.

"Yeah, she thinks she does." I replied. I drank down the rest of my beer, and looked at her shirt in my hands.

"So how are you taking it?" He asked with a grin.

"Man, I don't know how to deal with all this. I just got home. She just got home too. We both have… histories that complicate things. All I know is that the girl in my bedroom is nothing like any other woman I have been with. It scares the shit out of me Edward, and frankly, I don't even care. I can't leave her. Not even if I wanted to." I said, staring into my empty bottle.

"Well, at least I know it's not just me." Edward grinned. "Let me know when you want to go shopping for that ring Jazz." He said, and tossed his bottle into the trash bin.

"Come on, I like her man, but I'm not going ring shopping." I replied, dropping my bottle into the trash.

"Well, not yet, but you will." He said with a smirk. "Go take the woman her clothes, we're gonna cook some dinner for the ladies who make us crazy."

I walked down the hall back towards my room. I was smiling. Talking to Edward really helped me see what was happening a little more clearly. I had never felt what I was feeling now. I dated when Edward and I first got this apartment. It never lasted more than a week or two. Usually, when I got interested in a girl I usually either tried to keep my distance, so it wouldn't get serious, or I took them to Lindsay. I couldn't help but think I was crazy this morning for calling Lindsay. I was waiting for an excuse to stop the magnetism that emitted from Alice. Surely Lindsay would tell me she didn't like her, and it would be easy to cut the ties and go. That plan completely backfired. They had made plans to go to lunch together one day next week.

I reached the door to my room, and stopped. I took a deep breath, and let it back out. I opened the door and opened my mouth to speak. I instantly felt the emptiness in the room. She wasn't here. I looked all over, panic forming in my chest. She couldn't have left could she? She didn't have a car here. Hell, she didn't even have a shirt on. I started to shake, and my chest felt like a brick had been laid on top of it. _Calm Down Man! She's here somewhere. She didn't leave! Chill the fuck out! Breathe!_ My brain was screaming at me as I tried to make sense of the empty room. I was over reacting. It was fine. She didn't go anywhere. I took several deep breaths and tried to calm down. I listened for her, and heard the water running in the bathroom next door. She was fine. She was just cleaning up. My chest was still tight, and I was still having a hard time catching my breath. I reached into my drawer with a groan and pulled out my prescription bottle. Damn it. I hated knowing I had to take this shit. I placed a tiny pill under my tongue and sat down on my bed. I breathed in through my nose, and her scent filled my head. I calmed a little, and my chest started to ease a bit. My body slowed its tremors, and I breathed deep again through my nose. Once again her scent filled my head, and I relaxed somewhat. She poked her head back in the door, and our eyes met. I tried to hide it, I didn't want her to see me this shaken. She rushed to me, and took my face in her hands.

"What happened? Jasper, are you ok? God you're shaking all over!" She said in a rush. I felt her breath on my face, and breathed deeply again, and that perfume scent that I couldn't explain enveloped me again. My attack released its grip on my chest, and my shaking was almost over. I pulled her to me, and breathed deep against her skin. I sighed in relief, partly because my attack was over, but mostly because she was here with me. Realization came to me in that moment, that it wasn't the prescription that calmed me, it was Alice.

**A/N First things first, I hope you liked this chapter. PLEASE REVIEW. Secondly, Jasper triggered a panic attack when he couldn't find Alice. I know this may seem a little silly. On the contrary, Jasper really doesn't need much to trigger an attack. A lot of people have them from even smaller stressors. I didn't know if I needed to explain that to you or not, but I just didn't want you to think that Jasper was a weak little man for freaking out about her not being where he thought she would be. It's part of his disorder to overreact like that. Even thought Alice "triggered" the attack, she calmed him much faster than the little miracle pill did. Interesting… eh? **


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N Just a little note from me before we get started on this chapter. I don't own any of these characters, SMeyer does, and I just like to play with them! Please, I BEG you to leave reviews. They fuel my fire, and I can't write without them. Thanks for all the reviews I have gotten, and a big shout out to YellowPorcheyGirl for all the great reviews! LET'S DO THIS!!!!**

APOV

I was so scared for Jasper. I couldn't imagine what he must be going through, dealing with his panic attacks. I came out of the bathroom, and knew something was up. He tried to hide it. I could tell though, his skin was cold and clammy, and he was having a hard time breathing. I put his face in my hands, and did the only thing I knew to do. Try and comfort him. I let him pull me to him, and he just kept trying to steady his breathing. Bless his heart. I knew that it was so hard for him to calm down once he got upset. I couldn't help but wonder if he would always be like this. Would it get worse? Would it get better? I didn't have a clue. The passing of time had seemed to help me with my nervousness around men. It was still hard sometimes, but for some reason that tension hadn't been there with Jasper. I didn't get that nervous flutter in my stomach when I was with him. It scared me to know I could let my guard down with him, but I was happy for it too. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that Jasper wouldn't hurt me. I knew in my heart that he was good, and kind, and worth risking my heart for. I was surprised at how I felt about him already. Our connection was almost instant, and it was stronger than anything I'd ever felt. I heard him talking with Edward, about how his feelings for me were real, and that they scared him. It felt good to hear it from him. Even though he didn't say it to me, it felt wonderful to know he shared my feelings. I could feel Jasper's breathing calm to his regular pace, and I smiled and kissed his forehead.

"All better?" I asked, looking into his eyes.

"Yeah, I think so." He said with a sigh. He lay back onto his bed, still holding onto me. "I thought you were gone."

"What? Where would I have gone Jasper? You still had my shirt?" I asked with a smile.

"I didn't think. I just panicked when I didn't see you in here. I didn't even notice the water running in the bathroom until after I lost it. I feel, very much attached to you Alice. I can't make any sense out of it." He said, running his fingers through my hair.

"I feel the same way, so you don't have to worry about me taking off without telling you first ok?" I replied with a stern look. He took another deep breath, against my neck and I giggled. "You need to stop that, because Edward is here." I said.

"Bella will be here any minute too." He said with a kiss to my neck. "What perfume do you wear Alice? You smell so good." He kissed me behind my ear, and I almost forgot what he had asked me.

"Oh, it's um, its love spell. I started buying it years ago, and I just haven't found anything else I like as much as it." I said, with a breathless answer.

"Humph, the name fits. You've been driving me crazy with that stuff since last night. It's addictive, that smell." He said, kissing my collarbone.

"Well, breathe through your mouth, because I hear Bella!" I said, and kissed his cheek. I got up and put on my shirt that was now wrinkled and balled up on the floor. "This makes me look like we've been having sex all day." I said, pointing to my shirt.

"We have." He replied, picking his shirt up off the floor and shaking it.

"Like that's going to help! God Jasper, don't you have more clothes around here?" I asked, frowning at our clothes.

"If you go in there wearing my shirt, she is definitely going to know what's up. If she doesn't already that is, coz I'm pretty sure Edward told her about it already."

"Of course, he witnessed it, so he gets to fill her in before I get a chance to explain myself." I sighed.

"Relax, if you don't want to get into it right now, just tell her you couldn't resist my southern charm." He said, opening the door for me, and bowing his head.

"I just might." I replied with a grin.

I was nervous about what Bella would say to me about the development between Jasper and I. I was sure she wouldn't approve. Bella isn't my mother, and I don't have to answer to her. I try to keep telling myself that, but I find myself always looking for her approval. Bella had backed me on every decision I'd ever made, excluding dating James. I was sure she wouldn't be happy that Jasper and I had hit it off so well, and so fast.

Jasper took my hand, and closed the bedroom door behind us. I reluctantly made my way down the hall. Jasper put his other hand on the small of my back, and I calmed a bit. He started steering me towards the kitchen; where Bella and Edward were starting dinner.

"Hi Alice, we're making spaghetti!" Bella exclaimed. She was chopping an onion. Edward was behind her, beer in hand, watching her, over her shoulder. "Well, I am, Edward's supervising." She said with a grin, and turned her head to kiss Edward's cheek. Edward winked at Jasper, and grinned.

"This is how you cook man. I could get used to this." Bella laughed, and said "This is as close as you will get to cooking when I'm around Edward, I like to eat my food done, not burned." I grinned and headed over to help her start the noodles. "No ma'am, you just take your butt back into the living room and watch TV with Jasper." I gave her a sad look, and she said "Don't look at me like that, get!" I put my hands up in response her and Jasper pulled me by my back pocket to the living room. He pulled me down onto the futon couch with him, and grabbed the remote. I snuggled up beside him and he put his arm around me.

"Somebody bring me a beer!" Jasper called.

"Get it yourself! Edward replied.

"Quit Edward, get him a beer! I don't want them in the kitchen!" Bella whispered, but was loud enough for us to hear.

"Yeah Edward, get me a beer." Jasper whispered back with a grin.

Edward brought two beers into the living room and dropped them into Jasper's lap. Jasper grunted and gave Edward a wink.

"Thanks baby, I appreciate that. Now go put on a pretty dress for me." Jasper said, blowing a kiss at Edward.

"Screw you Jazz! You know you're the woman in this relationship." Edward replied with a laugh.

"Ok girls! Cool it!" I said, cutting in. Edward and Jasper both looked at me and smiled.

"Damn dude, I like her!" Edward said walking back into the kitchen.

"Me too." Jasper said with a smirk.

Garlic and onion scents floated to the living room where we sat, and I inhaled deeply. "God that girl can cook." I said hungrily. Bella knew what she was doing in the kitchen. She was at home there. She could cook anything she wanted to, and it would taste perfect. I enjoyed cooking, but I wasn't as good at it as Bella was. She was an artist in the kitchen. I could hear her and Edward whispering to each other while they cooked, and little playful laughs every so often made me smile. They were really in love. They were made for each other. No one could deny that. Bella and Edward hadn't been together long, but they were good together. They never argued, and they never were apart for long. Bella had given up moving to Atlanta for Edward. She was going to go to a culinary school on a full scholarship, but met Edward the week before she was to leave. She said she didn't need school. She had what she wanted right there in Auburn. We had talked about what would happen if Bella and Edward decided to get married. I supported her plans, and ideas, knowing that it would kill her if something changed and they split up. I hadn't met Edward until last night, but I knew when I met him, that they wouldn't be splitting up. You could see the love he had for her, the minute he saw her. It poured from him in his words to her, and it was a deep love that I had never witnessed before. It pained me last night to see them so much in love, but today, it didn't, because I knew that I had something I could hold onto now. Jasper could be my Edward. I could be his Bella. I smiled to myself at the thought of that, and closed my eyes. I drifted off to sleep with thoughts of love and laughter and friendship on my mind.


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N Ok, I got some really awesome reviews on the last chapter. THANKS SO MUCH! I hope to keep the creative juices flowing, as well as keep you coming back for more… So basically this chapter is going to be Jasper's take on Edward and Bella's relationship. I will try to keep it manly. Again, SMEYER owns Jasper, but gash, I sure do like to play with him. **

JOPV

Bella and Edward called us into the kitchen to eat. God, the apartment had never smelled so good. Alice took a seat next to mine, and smiled at me. Damn, that smile had the power to make a pessimist look on the bright side. I took her hand in mine, and squeezed. She leaned over and kissed my cheek. Edward sat down directly across from me.

"Oh honey, don't you just love these sit down meals I make for you?" Edward said, batting his eyelashes at me.

"Yes dear, you cook so great, it just makes me want kiss you!" I replied back, standing up and leaning over the table towards him.

"Settle down boys, or I'm going to send you to your room!" Bella said, swatting Edward's hand when he reached for a breadstick. Edward's hand retreated, and then swatted Bella on the ass. She yelped and immediately blushed.

"Keep that up, and I won't tuck you in tonight little boy!" Bella said, pointing her finger at Edward. I almost choked on the beer I was drinking. Alice laughed.

Dinner went in that same direction for the most part, Edward and I always pick at each other. Bella and Alice talked about our horse ride, and a little about the mud riding experience. She left out anything that could lead to Bella making any assumptions about the rest of our day. I was sure that Alice would tell Bella about us, it's just what women do. I didn't think they would talk about it in front of us. My thoughts were interrupted when Bella asked:

"So Alice, tell me about this evening." I jerked my head towards them, and Edward matched my action. Alice was embarrassed; the blush in her cheeks was almost scarlet.

"Bella?" she replied. "Are you really asking me this right now?" Edward put his arm around Bella, and whispered something to her.

"Oh come on," Bella scoffed, "We are all adults here. Jasper, I like you but I want to know your intensions with my best friend. She has been hurt before, and as alarmingly fast as this is going between you, I want to know what you think about it all." She said, pointing her fork at the two of us.

I cleared my throat and put down my fork. "Bella, Alice and I haven't done anything that didn't feel absolutely right. We are not uncomfortable with the decisions we have already made, and we both agree that we feel strongly attached to each other." Alice reached for my hand. I took it, and felt a sharp sting in my chest. I inhaled quickly, and Alice jerked her head in my direction. I emptied my lungs, and felt my chest tighten. Alice scooted her chair over closer to me, and put her hand on my back. Edward and Bella were watching me, wide eyed. I inhaled again, and with Alice closer, my attack seemed to lessen its grip on me. I closed my eyes, and focused on her hand on my back. I could feel the heat from each finger. I could smell her perfume; I could hear her breathing beside me. I matched my breathing to hers, and felt my attack pass. I took a final deep breath, and opened my eyes again. Bella and Edward were still staring at me. I looked at Alice and she smiled again, unsure of what to say.

"I'm fine." I assured her. I was angry with myself for getting so worked up over Bella's questions. I wasn't angry with Bella; she was just trying to protect her friend. I picked my fork back up, and started eating again. Edward followed my lead, and changed the subject.

The rest of the night, Bella and Alice didn't speak to each other. Alice was pissed. I felt bad for Bella, because Alice was so upset with her. I hoped that they didn't get into an argument. Bella was cleaning the dishes, and Edward and Alice and I were watching TV. I got up from my seat, and went into the kitchen. Bella and I needed to talk.

"I told you Edward, I don't want any help with the dishes." Bella said, hearing me as I walked towards the sink.

"Are you sure, I'm a hell of a dishwasher?" I asked with a grin. Bella gasped, and turned to look at me.

"Oh, um, sure Jasper, you can wash, and I will dry. Deal?" She asked.

"Sounds like a good deal to me." I replied, pretending to tie on an apron. Bella smiled at that, and I knew it would be ok to continue. I washed a plate, and passed it to her, watching her face to see how she would take my next statement.

"Jasper –"

"Bella-"we said at the same time. "May I go first?" I asked.

"Sure Jasper. Go ahead."

"I appreciate your concern for Alice. You are a great friend to her. I know she loves you. Alice is not like any girl – woman, I have ever met. I feel a connection with her that I can't explain. I know you must be angry with me for what has happened between us today, but I can promise you, that I wouldn't do anything to hurt Alice. I know this is going to sound crazy Bella, but I – I love her." I didn't plan to tell Bella that I loved Alice. I actually didn't even know I was thinking it. Bella gasped, and almost dropped the plate she was drying. She looked up at me and raised her eyebrow.

"Does she know this?"

"I haven't said it to her like that. No, I guess not." I said, taking another dish from the sink and passing it to her. She fumbled a bit with the two, and I took the dry plate from her, and sat it on the counter. She blushed a little, and I smiled. I could see why Edward was in love with her. Her heart was pure and she had a fireball personality. She was small and delicate, but she was not one to take for granted. She was bashful, yet strong, shy and outgoing at the same time. She was perfect for Edward. I could see it as plainly as the dish in front of me. Edward felt for Bella, what I felt for Alice. It couldn't be explained, it couldn't be rationalized. Time didn't matter. Bella and Edward were meant to be together. Alice and I were as well.

**A/N Oh how grand love can be! Please leave me a REVIEW, and I will post the next chapter faster than you can say "Love is in the air!"**


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N Ok so this is going to be a little tough for all you Bella lovers out there. Bella was rude at the table, and Alice is not going to let her get away with it. I promise to keep it brief though ok? PLEASE REVIEW after the chapter. I write so much better when I know you like it! SMeyer owns Alice, but I get to make her bitchy.**

APOV

"Bella, what the hell is wrong with you?" I asked, slinging my purse down onto the couch in our apartment.

"Chill out Alice, I told Jasper I was sorry." Bella said, sitting her purse down beside mine.

"I will not chill out. Do you ever remember me freaking out on Edward because you two were having sex?" I demanded an answer.

"Yes actually. You told him he wasn't good enough for me." She replied with a smile. I put my hands on my hips and released the breath I had been holding. She was right, but damn it, I was pissed, she caused Jasper to have another panic attack, and he was really funny about them as it was. I knew he didn't want Edward to see it, and I was positive he didn't want Bella to know anything about it either. "Alice, we talked. He loves you. He said it. I told him he needed to tell you that instead of telling me. I know he wants to be with you, and I know he wants to make you happy, so there really isn't anything else to argue about sweetie. I just wanted to make sure he wasn't an asshole." Bella said.

I couldn't argue with that. I had done the same for her when she and Edward started dating. And she didn't give me any lip about it. Of course Edward being the prankster he is came right out and told me that he intended to get her in the sack and keep her there. Then later, he pulled me to the side and got all teary eyed and mushy on me telling me how confused and in love he was… I couldn't help but smile. I plopped down on the couch, and Bella followed my actions.

"So, is he good in bed?" Bella asked, waggling her eyebrows. I laughed, and nodded like a bobble head doll. "I knew it. He looks like he would be." She said with a sly grin.

"BELLA! How the heck does he LOOK like he would be good in bed?"

"Girl, he has biceps, and he's a bit bow-legged. That means, he can hold himself up good, and he can ride like hell!" Bella said, giggling. I threw a pillow at her, and told her to quit checking out my man. The rest of the night went that way, and we girl talked our way into the morning.

_**MEANWHILE**_

JPOV

"So, how long have you been having panic attacks Jazz?"

I rolled my eyes and looked at him. "For a while."

"Do you take meds for it?" He asked, eyeing me curiously.

"Yes, and no, you aren't getting any." I replied with a grin, trying to brush it off.

"I don't want any man, I just want to know what happened to you, to make you freak out like that now. You scared me Jazz." He walked over to the refrigerator and took out two beers. He opened one and handed me the other. I took it, and sat down in a chair in the living room.

"A lot of shit happened when I was in Iraq man, I didn't handle it very well, and now I'm at home." I said, drinking my beer.

"Did you quit?" Edward asked.

"Medical Leave, until further notice." I replied staring at the TV. I knew that this would come sooner or later; Edward was the closest thing I had to a brother. He knew me as well if not better than Lindsay did.

"Want to talk about it?" He asked. I looked at him, and sighed.

"I just did Edward. I watched people die. I watched a guy I cared about die. He was like a best friend to me. He was in my fucking arms man, and I couldn't do shit about it. No one could. It just, it gets to me man, and when I get mad, or something pisses me off, or someone questions me, I panic. I didn't mean to do it tonight, and I'm sorry I scared you. I won't let it happen again. Can we drop this now?" I said, my breathing hitched, and I could feel my control slipping. My hands began to sweat and my eyes started to tear up. I fisted my hands in my hair, and put my elbows on my knees. My chest tightened and the fist that held its grip on my lungs tightened so that I was gasping for air, and none would fill my lungs. I needed my medicine. Edward was on his knees in front of me, begging me to tell him what to do, "Drawer!" I croaked, and pointed to my room. Edward was up and gone before I knew it. The room was spinning, and everything was going dark. I felt something push me, and noticed a chalky taste in my mouth. I was covered in sweat, and I was shaking all over. My brain was screaming at me, and my head was pounding. I could hear Edward talking, but couldn't translate what he was saying. My lungs burned from the lack of oxygen, and I felt a hard smack on my back. SMACK, again, what the hell was hitting me? I groaned and fell to the floor, and closed my eyes. The darkness was comforting. I searched through it for something familiar. My body quaked, searching for much needed oxygen. My mind searched through the fuzzy darkness for something, anything it could focus on. A little dark haired pixie came to mind. Her hands were on my face, telling me to breathe. My mind was playing tricks; clearly there was no more oxygen in my body. I could smell her, taste her breath on my lips. Hear her sweet voice in my ears. I felt a sharp sting on my cheek, and wetness on my face. Another sharp sting and more wetness. I inhaled involuntarily, the air filling my parched lungs. I willed my eyes open, and couldn't believe what I saw. She was standing over me, with tears falling from her cheeks. Her hand was shaking, and she had it held back over her head. I watched her swing it swiftly, and lost sight of it just as it struck my cheek. That explained the sting. The tears explained the warm moisture on my face. She gasped when she saw that my eyes were open. I heard Bella and Edward somewhere close by.

"Jasper? Are you ok man?" Edward asked. You could tell that I scared him, he never called me Jasper. He always called me Jazz.

"He's awake!" Alice said shakily. She rubbed my cheek where it was stinging, and I wondered how many times she had smacked me.

"God, do you always slap men awake?" I asked with a smile. My lungs were still burning, and my chest still felt like it was in a vise. My shaking was gone. I sat up, and a wave of nausea hit me. I didn't throw up, but Alice gasped when my eyes tried to roll back into my head.

"Maybe we should call the hospital?" Bella asked, clearly scared to death.

"No, I'm ok. I just sat up to damn fast." I propped myself up against the futon couch, and put my head in my hands. "What did you call them for man?" I asked, looking at Edward.

"She made you calm down earlier, I thought she might have been able to help you this time too. Plus, I knew that you wouldn't want me to take you to the hospital . I didn't even realize that Edward and Bella had noticed that Alice calmed me at the table. I wasn't aware that Edward could be that perceptive. I wondered what else he saw that I didn't know he could possibly be aware of.

"Don't be such a hard ass Jasper, if being here makes this thing easier on you, you better believe that I am going to be here. I would be mad as hell if you didn't want me here because you were embarrassed about it." Alice said, folding her arms across her chest. She had a little pout on her face, and it was the cutest damn thing I'd ever seen. I smiled at her, and reached out my hand to her. She came over and sat with me, allowing me to put my arm around her. I kissed her temple, and whispered, "Thanks for being here Alice. Your voice brought me out of it. I thought I was dreaming of you."

She turned her head to me and pecked me on the lips, "See that it stays that way, cause I'm not going anywhere if it keeps your panic attacks at bay." She replied, with a smile so sweet, that I was sure that it would calm the stormiest seas. If not them, then at least the waves of anxiety that my brain harbored.

"I guess we're having a sleepover then." Edward grinned, and winked at Bella.

"Looks that way to me." Bella said, and put her hands around Edward's waist.

"Let me know if you need me Jazz." Edward said over his sholder, and he and Bella were on their way to his room.

"Like they would hear us if we tried." Alice said, watching them as they shut the door behind them.

"We won't." I replied.

Alice stood up and held out her tiny little hands to me. "Like you could pull me up off this floor, what do you weigh, like 52 pounds?" I said, as I stood myself up. She wrapped her arms around me, and said,

"111 actually and I'm a whole 5 feet and 3 inches tall."

"Yeah, so how do you think your tiny little self can pick me up? I weigh 170 and I'm 6 foot tall."

"You ever heard the saying, Dynamite comes in small packages?" she asked, giving me a wicked grin.


	18. Please Help Me

**A/N Sorry it's been so long since I have updated. I am having a bit of a problem writing this story now. I have had lots of hits on this and I have had several wonderful reviews, but I am starting to get bored with this story. I hate to sound needy, but your reviews REALLY fuel me, and I need them to continue on. I have lots of ideas for Jasper and Alice, but I need feedback to know that you are happy with the way this is going. Please review, and let me know what you think. Should I keep writing this? Should I write something else for a while and come back? Please let me know what I should do. **

**Thanks for all you readers, you mean a lot to me, I just need a little positive reinforcement, to know I am on the right track here. **

**Thanks again, and I love you guys.**

**Beth**


	19. Chapter 17

**A/N Hello everyone! I thought it was time to update this. I hope you haven't given up on me. Please check out my other stuff too. It's always nice to see reviews, so please, if you haven't reviewed my chapters, please do so, and they motivate me to write more.**

2 WEEKS LATER

JPOV

Alice and I had spent every day together for the last two weeks. I had fallen for her hard and fast, and there was no turning back. When we weren't together, I was thinking about her, and counting down the minutes until I could go back to her again.

My life had changed so much in the last couple of weeks. I still had my attacks, but they weren't frequent, and I had even been sleeping better. Time heals wounds. I don't think that's a lie. But I do however; believe that it's not just the time that does the healing. It's the people you spend that time with.

Alice had taught me things about myself that I didn't know. She taught me that I need people in my life. More than I thought I did anyway. I need her. I love Edward; he's a brother to me. His family took me in like I was already part of them way before I felt like I was. But the love I have for Alice now, it's different. She's not a separate person to me; she's like an addition to me. She's my heart.

So here I am now, sitting in my room, Tiffany box in hand. I've opened and closed it a thousand times, light catching the brilliant stone, and sparkling, before going dark again when I close it. I am not nervous, but happy. I've never been so happy. I've never been so sure of anything in my life. Alice will be here any minute, and I will ask her the question I was meant to ask from the very first time I saw her.

"Hey Jazz! Bella and I are leaving in a few minutes." Edward called from his room.

"Uh, yeah, that's fine man." I said back, not really paying attention. Edward knocked twice on my door, and pushed it open.

"Damn Jazz. You never dress up for me. Should I feel left out here?" Edward said, punching my shoulder, and handing me a beer.

"Shut up Eduardo." I replied with a grin. I took the beer and drank it down fast. Maybe I was a little nervous.

"It'll be fine Jasper. She's going to say yes. Who could refuse you, and your southern charm?" he said, laughing as he walked back out the door. I laughed and finished my beer quickly.

"We'll meet you at the restaurant right?" I called to him, looking at my watch.

"Yep. Meet us there when you get through here. Make it quick. I don't want to wait for your monkey sex to be over before you meet us. They do close at a decent hour you know?" Bella and Edward left and I was again, alone with my thoughts. Nerves took over, and I watched the second hand on the clock make its endless journey around and around, wondering how long it was going to be before I heard her dainty knock on the door.

APOV

I was running late. I couldn't find a thing to wear. I had a date with Jasper, and he was taking me somewhere nice. I didn't know where, but I was so excited! I washed and styled my hair, just the way he liked it, and smiled at my reflection. I frowned quickly seeing past my face. I had to find something perfect to wear. I dug through my closet furiously. At the very back, on Bella's side to be honest, I found the perfect thing. It was red, and beautiful. It was a strappy dress, and when I put it on, it hugged my curves in all the right places. It fell just above my knee, short enough to show a little thigh, but not too short. I had the perfect heels for it. I dug through my side of the closet again, and found my favorite shoes. Black heels, with red soles. They were perfect! I did my makeup quickly, and looked myself over in the mirror. I liked what I saw. I looked perfect for tonight! I gasped as I saw the reflection of the clock in the mirror. I was SO LATE! I had to go.

I threw myself in my car, and shoved the key into the ignition. I backed out, screeching tires, and smiled at myself in the rearview. I turned the radio up loud, singing along with the song. I pulled out quickly onto the highway.

I glanced in my rearview again, as I accelerated. I did a double-take when I saw a mountainous truck speeding towards me as top speed. I braced myself for the impact, remembering at the last second that I'd forgotten to buckle my seatbelt.

*****

JPOV

I awoke to the sound of my phone, vibrating against my dresser. I stretched quickly, and tried to get my eyes to adjust, to focus to the dark room. The sun had gone down, and I couldn't see anything.

I groaned as I climbed out of my bed, and stretched again. The phone stopped its vibrating just as I reached out to pick it up.

I shrugged, still groggy from my nap and headed for the bathroom. I was just about to turn off the bathroom light when I realized Alice was very late.

I speed walked to my room, and threw on the light. The clock read 8 pm. I'd been sleeping for two hours. I sprinted to my phone, and groaned when it read 13 missed calls.

I grew panicked as I scrolled through the list of callers, none of which were Alice. Edward, Bella, Esme, and even Carlisle had tried to call me, multiple times. I took a deep breath, and dialed the last number that had tried to reach me.

The phone rang for what seemed like hours, and just before I gave up, I heard a muffled "Hello?"

"This is Jasper! Why has everyone tried to call me? Did Alice forget about our date?"

"Oh Jasper honey," Esme said, "She didn't forget." She started crying then, and my panic went from a slight burn to a blazing fire in my chest.

"Mom? What happened?" I said, forcing the words out carefully. I heard muffled voices, and what sounded like someone taking the phone from her. Why was she so upset? She had only known Alice for about three days. I had just taken her to meet her. Surely if Alice was breaking up with me, Esme wouldn't cry would she?

"Jazz?" Edward croaked.

"Yeah man, it's me, what the hell is going on?"

"Jazz, we're at the hospital. There's been an accident. I think you should come down here. Alice…" My knees gave way, and I crumpled to the floor.

"Jazz?" I wheezed and rocked back and forth on my heels, silence filled Edward's ear.

"JASPER?" He called nervously. I didn't hear him. I didn't know where my pills were, I didn't care. Something had happened. Something bad enough to make Esme cry. Edward was upset, I could hear it in his voice.

"Jasper, I'm coming home!" Edward snapped into the phone, and the line went silent.

My heart was torn to pieces, my breath was gone, chest aflame with the worst heat I'd ever felt in my life. My eyes burned, tears soaked my face and neck. I pounded my fist into the floor, anger, sadness, and hurt filled my soul. My lungs screamed for air, but none came. My ears rang, and my head was spinning. The room danced around me, and then grew dark again.

**A/N Ok, this was intense. Sorry I didn't warn you ahead of time. Please don't hate me. Review; feel free to tell me what a bitch I am. Just promise me you'll come back for the next chapter.**

**OH YEAH! AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CHECK OUT MY OTHER STUFF! **

**The Other Man is a great story too!**

**Also, I wrote Teaching Miss Swan, a O/S for the Loving in Public Contest! It's steamy, and HOT HOT HOT!  
**


	20. BIG NEWS!

Hello readers! I love you all, and I promise to update soon, but I just wanted to take a second to tell you I would really love for you to check out my One Shot for the Public Lovin Contest. It's called Teaching Miss Swan, and it's a sexy little story about Bella and Edward, learning lessons in love. Or, well **MAKING **love…

So anyway, this is for the Public Lovin Contest, and I'd really love for you to check it out, and If you like it, VOTE FOR ME! The link is here www(dot)bit(dot)ly/9EyiF8 and I'd really love to win this contest, because the winner gets to do an interview with some really awesome people.

So go read it and vote really quick! I'll update The Other Man and Just to See You Smile soon!

Thanks Loves!


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